VICTIMS & SURVIVORS
I am being abused?
Princeton University defines it as “the physical or emotional or sexual mistreatment of children, (or adults)”.
“A rude expression intended to offend or hurt” or “cruel or inhumane treatment”
Definition of Domestic Abuse (home/office):
The British Crime Survey in 2006/07 defines it as “Any incident or threatening behavior, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are, or have been intimate partners or are family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.”
People involved in the cause to fight abuse are always amazed at how many individuals are being abused and DO NOT REALIZE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THEM because in many environments, abuse seems normal to them. The easiest way to figure out whether abuse is happening is to see how you feel when things are happening to you.
If things are going on between you and another person who has authority over you or can physically overpower you, and these things makes you feel bad, pain, scared, hurt, strange or shameful, it is a good chance that you are being abused.
If ever you are wondering and just do not know, contact us ANONYMOUSLY at firstname.lastname@example.org. We are NOT professional therapists or counselors, but we know enough to tell you if you should seek help services or we can refer you to people who can help answer your questions.
If you need to help now, the link below takes you to the premiere hotlines and their phone numbers for male victims of abuse.
Another great resource to get great information on exactly what abuse is Helpguide at http://helpguide.org/.
You have already survived, now you just have to recover. The main reason the entire program for this charitable organization is to implore you, young men and boys, who were abused to get help and deal with what has happened to you. Do this before you grow up to repeat what you have learned and become an abuser yourself or destroy your life in some other fashion. Not all men do, but the cycle of abuse is a real phenomenon that exists and it is better to be safe than sorry. Child sexual predators can victimize thousands of children who potentially grow up to victimize more children. You do the math.
Yes, someday, even you can become an abuser. You may not even realize that it is happening. You just grow up to be like the people who abused you. Sometimes it is not even a conscious decision to become an abuser. You just end up one day in jail for violating, injuring or even killing someone.
What has happened to you, whether it was mental, physical, sexual, or witnessing of abuse will affect you. You did not deserve it or ask for it but at some point, all that pain will manifest. If you do not grow up to abuse others, you are very likely to abuse or harm yourself. It is a terrible thing, but you are left with damage that must be repaired. You do not really want to take the chance of putting someone through what you have been through, do you?
It is better to be safe than sorry and, no, life is not fair.
You don’t have to admit to the world that you were abused, just admit it to yourself,
and get help.
It may take from 1 to10 years of therapy, but it is worth it. You can get up everyday and be happy because you will be free of all the anguish and shame you feel now. Therapy also gives victims and survivors the tools to deal with life’s different situations that most abused people cannot handle properly, so that they do not revert to anger, depression, substance abuse or other mental disorders.
Shop around or check some of your local abuse support groups to help you get referrals for a good therapist. Remember, psychologists are like shoes. If your support does not feel right with the first specialist, keep looking until you find a good fit. Your therapist should talk to you respectfully and patiently. It is more of a personality mix. Some people communicate well, and some do not. Some may suggest other treatments like support groups or for you to see a psychiatrist to administer medications. Do only what feels right to you and move at your own pace. A few online referral sources that could be helpful are http://www.findcounseling.com or Rape Counseling, Male Abuse Victims
You cannot face this alone or run from the effects of abuse. The only way out is through.
On the other hand, you perhaps have little or no income to spare. The best idea is for you to contact your local government health department. Some communities will help you for free. If you have financial challenges, you can also ask potential help service providers if they will see you on what is called a “sliding scale” price. This means you pay what you can. In many cases service providers will help you. We have also found that some of the “hot shot” therapists donate time to low-income clinics so checking with your local “free clinic” can also be a good idea. No matter what, do everything you can to get help. Please love yourself enough to do this for yourself and your community. For many of you, you will always carry mental baggage from your abuse, but you can certainly lighten the load by taking this advice.